The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
