Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
