I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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