Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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