I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
