1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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