And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
COCAINE IS GR8
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
