Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
