therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
