So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
