By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
