Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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