Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
