i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
