Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
