i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He felt like a one man threesome
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
