I think im going to throw up on grandma
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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