dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize