these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
