Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
