Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
