so that wasnt chicken after all
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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