Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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