One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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