fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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