i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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