didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize