his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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