I wish I could teleport
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
