i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
