Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
