Three words: puerto rican gang bang
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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