I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
