Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
