I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
where are you?
Hypothermia
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
