4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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