whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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