Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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