They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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