i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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