Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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