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they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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