What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
