Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize