well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
