Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
