shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
