I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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