I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up under a house in Key West
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
