all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I love you.
Bad choice
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize