Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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(917): View more from New York City

I cockslap morals

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(214): View more from Texas

I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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(719): View more from Colorado

There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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(210): View more from Texas

If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Thanks, mom.

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(407): View more from Florida

Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!

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(316): View more from Kansas

He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing

(785): View more from Kansas

New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit

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