Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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  (917): My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting. http://tfl.nu/u7rx
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (914)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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  (509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach http://tfl.nu/ylv0
  Replies (20) Good night (1785) Bad night (831)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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  (732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm
  Replies (12) Good night (4392) Bad night (815)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."

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  (403): During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch." http://tfl.nu/35ko
  Replies (29) Good night (1141) Bad night (4483)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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  (303): We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen. http://tfl.nu/slj5
  Replies (22) Good night (7126) Bad night (936)
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  (909): View more from California

  oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.

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  (909): oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas. http://tfl.nu/s25p
  Replies (8) Good night (875) Bad night (3223)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
  Replies (42) Good night (9492) Bad night (1448)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

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  (803): I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/6l9f
  Replies (4) Good night (2258) Bad night (608)
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  (909): View more from California

  I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick

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  (909): I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick http://tfl.nu/j8ox
  Replies (4) Good night (1277) Bad night (815)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.

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  (206): She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers. http://tfl.nu/uzdb
  Replies (3) Good night (2406) Bad night (751)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.

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  (757): I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet. http://tfl.nu/keov
  Replies (8) Good night (822) Bad night (1234)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.

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  (870): I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer. http://tfl.nu/bxkb
  Replies (5) Good night (2240) Bad night (550)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage

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  (201): His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage http://tfl.nu/lo9j
  Replies (5) Good night (1977) Bad night (559)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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  (218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp
  Replies (17) Good night (1520) Bad night (373)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?

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  (973): Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question? http://tfl.nu/0k1f
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (206)

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