I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills