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• (850): View more from Florida

  ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

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• (408): View more from California

  How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (562): View more from California

  It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Asking for a friend of course

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