I am in a vortex of obligation.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
