Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He did a backflip because drugs
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