You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
