Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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