okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
