I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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