Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
