Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize