My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just gift wrapped bread.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
