people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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