Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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